I find as the years continue to pass, I’m having a harder time remembering my life. Only a few years ago, I used to have a great memory, especially for food. I could recall the sensation, the emotion created from trying a new meal. Now, I must really think to conjure up anything regarding the first time I had Koshari. This goes too for special events like going to new places or celebrating family/friend gatherings. Memories are all we have. Without them, what are we?
This loss in memory juxtaposes with where I am in life. By all accounts, I am far better off this year than in any other year I’ve been on this green Earth. My last doctor’s visit, I was informed I’m a spitting image of good health. I had finally gained weight! I am no longer iron or vitamin d deficient! I now have a full time job away from the laborious stressful Infamous Large Coffee Chain. I have been on many wonderful vacations and reunited with a great friend I haven’t seen in years. There is honestly much to talk about in this post. So much has happened. And yet… I know things have happened because I documented them, here on this very site and in my work planner and on my phone via pictures/videos and in my journal (which I fail to keep up with). The emotions aren’t there. I want them to be there. Without written confirmation, without all the notetaking and recording, I’m not sure if anything happened last year. Maybe this is Covid’s doing (I’ve gotten Covid every year it’s been out). Perhaps it was the coffee shop. I don’t know. Does it matter? I want to believe I can regain the ability to recall life with emotions. I must believe this is possible.
In looking at my previous posts, the solution may be to fill my life with more diversity and challenges-this seems to be the only remarkable difference between 2021 and this year. This is not really true. By 2021 I had only gotten Covid twice.